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Make your infants weird this Halloween

It’s scary sometimes what the internet teaches me about myself.
When just browsing on the web, I try to resist clicking links to the teaser articles that have numbers in their headlines.
You know the types of ‘articles’ I’m talking about:
“7 Oscar-winning actors who started out as slasher movie victims”;
“The 12 greatest horror movies you’ve never seen”;
“8 words about 12 high-calorie desserts from 21 greasy spoon cafes in the American south.”