A not-so-sweet resolution

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By Kate Darnell

For as long as I can remember, I have been addicted to sweets.

I believe myself to be a gal of substantial willpower. I can go without fries, soft drinks and donuts.

But when it comes to desserts, I must admit, I get a bit weak in the knees.

Even as I sit here at my desk, visions of sweet things dance in my head.

A hot fudge sundae with extra nuts from the Valley restaurant... my sister-in-law’s peanut butter pie and peanut butter roll... apple dumplings... ice cream cake... birthday cake ice cream... Trudy Harrison’s red velvet whoopee pies... buttermilk pie... derby pie... a chocolate chip cookie dough blizzard or blender... chocolate fudge... brownies... and cheesecake (Oh cheesecake!)...

Oh my...

My heart is beating fast.

I have sweet tooth cravings that haunt me several times a week. With eyes glazed over, I become a huntress in the kitchen, searching for the sugary kill - my dessert desire overtaking my entire body and creating quite the scary cookie monster.

Ohhh... a cookie would be good right about now...

Like anyone who thinks they have a problem, I am going to blame my dessert addiction on my mother.

An amazing cook, my mother has always stocked our house with cobblers, Bourbon brownies and grape pies (topped with a foot of meringue).

After years of her homemade treats, it’s now difficult to find a meal complete unless I’ve felt sugar and butter particles melting in my mouth - the sugar comatosed stage beginning almost immediately.

Needless to say, the holiday season can be the jackpot for all dessert addicts like myself.

Fruit cake! Peanut butter balls! Fudge! Cookies for me... I mean Santa! Puddings! Cakes! Hooray!

But with the sweet taste of Christmas comes the sting of New Year’s promises.

I’ve never really been a New Year’s resolution setter. For me, a resolution (so many times not attained or even remotely attainable) is only the promise of failure. And I do have a fear of failure.

Until this year.

I’m going to do it... I’m going to make a resolution for 2010.

Or at least for half the year.

No desserts for me until my wedding day (June 5, 2010).

Even writing this hurts.

I can’t decide whether I feel sick or need to cry.

“You really think you can do that?” my fiancé asked me when I told him of my resolution.

He’s seen me as the cookie monster many times before.

“It’s going to be hard,” I said.

It will be hard. That is an understatement.

I’ll be saying ‘bye’ to many old friends. Especially my best friend... Mr. Hot Fudge Sundae With Extra Nuts.

The angel on the left side of my shoulder keeps telling me this will be good... perhaps a six-month sabbatical will forever end my dessert cravings.

Either that or I’ll spend June 6, 2010 eating honey buns, cupcakes and Sour Patch Kids.

But now, as smokers say, I’m going for it cold turkey.

Wish me luck...

And beware of a cookie monster on the loose.